Are you significant, important, and valuable? YES, you are.
We live in a culture in which so many of us constantly compare ourselves with others to try and better understand ourselves. However, we then tend to fixate on what others have that we don’t, what they are that we’re not, and what they’ve done that we haven’t…or vice versa. (I highly recommend reading Brené Brown’s [https://brenebrown.com] work for more insights on this idea).
For many of us, these comparisons along with a host of other cultural factors create an internal dialogue that too often leads us to thoughts and feelings that we are not significant, or at least not significant enough. But at the same time, obtaining and maintaining a sense of significance is one of our top two core psychological needs. We spend a great deal of time, energy and effort trying to urgently protect or fill this need, especially, again, since we too often doubt our own significance, or fear losing the significance that we think we have.
Denying our own ever-present significance is highly prevalent in our society and usually results in a plethora of self-limiting beliefs…for years. It is therefore technically devastating and keeps us from living as authentically as we want to, limits our relationships, and negatively impacts our ability to make decisions that serve us (or others).
And so, I tell you again, just in case you need to year it, you are significant.
You are just as significant as Bill Gates, Nelson Mandela, and the person you envy in some way. You are significant even when you feel alone, rejected, or minimized.
Here are some answers to several very important questions about your significance:
- When are you significant? Always
- Where are you significant? Everywhere
- Why are you significant? Because you exist; because you are here; because you have a purpose.
- Who makes you significant? No one; you just are. While someone might perceive you as being significant to them (e.g., a mom to her son; one lover to another), this does not determine whether you are significant or not. You are significant. Period.
- What do you have to do to be significant? Nothing. You are not more or less significant because of anything you’ve done or not done. You are simply significant. You are significant no matter what. It doesn’t matter where you were born, or where you live now. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done, haven’t done; what you’ve said, or failed to say. Nor is your significance dependent on how much money you have, just as it is not based on if you’ve cured a cancer or not; if you’ve fed 1,000,000 people for free or not, nor on if you only have one friend or rule Facebook. You are significant. Period.
Who is significant? YOU, and everyone else.
Perhaps this analogy provided to me by Be Well Mind Coach, Ley-Ann Clarke [[email protected]] will help: if you go into a hospital and look around at all the new babies just born, is there even one new baby that isn’t significant? No – of course, they are all significant. Are there any babies that aren’t “valuable” or special? No. How about 1 year, 5 years, or 10 years from now; are any of them insignificant then? Are any of them not valuable? Not special? No – they are all significant, valuable and special. How about when they are 30, 40, 50, 60? What if one of them is your age? Yes, they are still significant.
What if that new baby is now YOU today? Yes, YOU…YOU are therefore significant.
Are you seeking significance from someone or something else? A parent, a loved one? A boss or coworker? Stop.
Are you trying to prove your significance to anyone? Again, stop. You are already significant. You always have been, always are, and always will be. YOU can’t be insignificant. It’s simply not possible.
An important twist on this fact:
Now that we’ve firmly established that you are significant, swap it with other words, values, and facts like:
- Valuable Yes, it is a FACT that you are valuable.
- Important Yes, it is a FACT that you are important.
- Worthy Yes, it is a FACT that you are worthy.
- Lovable Yes, it is a FACT that you are lovable.
- Loving Yes, it is a FACT that you are loving.
- Enough Yes, it is a FACT that you are enough.