How to Actually Change

We’ve located the best health information in the world and we’ve even tested it on ourselves and experienced positive results and yet most of us bounce back to unhealthy habits time and time again.

Why is it that people find it so hard to make change?

Talk Back to Food

You cannot have two thoughts at once. Trust me, I have tried to defy this law, but I find it to be unassailable. While I am busy thinking about FOOD, I cannot also be thinking about what I want to accomplish in life. I also can’t be tuned into the thoughts, words or feelings of my husband, my kids, my co-workers or my friends. I find this upsetting, especially because I actually care more about those people than food. Does anyone else have this kind of close and distracting relationship with food? I’ve been thinking and writing a lot about it lately since being on vacation (a time when I suspend my food rules.)

You and Your Currencies

It’s time to give thanks for all the various currencies in your “pocket.” You’ve got money, time, food and love. Take stock of the currencies that flow through you every day. Did you know you are the master of them all? Did you know how you think and feel and how resolved you are about past incidents has everything to do with how masterful you feel about these currencies? I say we all start designing our relationships to time, money, food and love with a new gusto. Consider my suggestions on each area below.

Is “Doing” a Placebo?

Sometimes I think so hard I get a headache. And I really think I am solving my problems optimally this way. Upon further reflection, what has always preceded the fastest and most miraculous fulfillment of my dreams and visions has been a shift in consciousness, not thinking up a really good insight or plan. Dangit. What’s up with that?

There are multiple worlds in which we traffic. The world of our moods and feelings, though seemingly the most out of our control, may be the world that most impacts our results. When you feel good, don’t good things just tend to happen? When you are open and feeling positive, conflicts are resolved more easily, things roll off your back and you are more likely to take risks. Instead of feeling like masters of our feelings though, this is the realm where we most often feel like victims, or as we call it at Handel, “weather reporters” (those who tell what’s happening as though they were passive rather than active authors).

You Are So Busted!

You are so busted! You know what you did. Or didn’t do. Where you’ve fallen short.

Think about it. I’ll wait . . .

I hope you’ve had time to reflect and figure it out.

This was the single line my youngest daughter said to me: “You are so busted.” Though she was imitating something from a TV show, it struck me and really got me thinking. I scanned. Was it something I ate, drank or smoked? No. Was it something I promised her and went back on? No. How is my marriage? Pretty damn great. Is my money in good shape? Yup. Doing well with my family members? Check.

Saying Yes

My last blog post focused on your power to say “no” to things. I mentioned that with the courage to say “no” comes a deeper commitment to that to which you say “yes.” I want to talk about the next layer of saying “yes” to things. We at the Handel Group™ call it “designing your life” and the main tools we use are promises and consequences.

Yup, we tell people to promise to do what they say they will do and then pay a consequence for every promise they don’t keep.

Can You Have It All?

Technically, no. You live in the information age, which means you could spend the next month just reading blogs about, let’s say, knitting, and still not get through them all, and your loved ones and business colleagues are able to reach you through seven different venues at once. So, you technically CANNOT get to everything you might like to get to or others might like you to get to.

But don’t despair. There is still hope for a satisfying life that makes an impact.

Silencing the Brain-Brat Forever

The Handel Method’s® answer to the incessant voice of the brain-brat (you know, that little voice in your head that says “I don’t wanna, I deserve, I shouldn’t have to?”) is a principle called “Being Done.” And guess what? We’ve all employed this method unconsciously at one time or another when we finally “had it up to here” (or said another way, the consequences became too severe). But, did you know you can employ “Being Done” anytime- and at will? Let’s recall the times you already have.

Cure My Sickness

I cured myself of being sick. This might be a controversial topic to raise, but it is so very much on my mind that it is hard for me to resist. Awhile back, I had a fever for four days straight and I found the experience fascinating.

Part of the Handel Method® teaches that we make up theories about everything, some empowering, some not so much. So there are a few possible theories I’ve heard of about being sick. I’ve listed them below and my response to each

I’m Scared. What Do I Do?

I’m regularly scared these days, and I have clients who are scared, too. We all have good reasons: before a really important presentation, after a fight, before taking a big risk, or just not knowing how something you care about is going to turn out.

I don’t know about you, but I actually wish I could control the universe, and often times feel like I can. When I get the occasional wake up call that I can’t control everything, it’s a rude one for me. I’m sure you’ve experienced this too, but it doesn’t mean you should stay stuck in a feeling of powerlessness. So what should you DO about fear? I’ve gathered the most helpful coaching on the subject so we all can benefit.