All of us struggle with issues like finding time for exercise, finding a new job, and finding that dream guy or gal special. And for every solution we are presented with for tackling our issues, we have a reason this solution cannot work.
For example, you might say, “I would like to exercise in the morning but I’m not a morning person” or “I’d send out more resumes but there’s just no time.” Many common excuses center on your perceived inability to manage time… schedules, money, or waking up early in the morning. Just listen to the people around you as they tell their stories and you will hear a bevy of excuses that people hold dear.
Easy to see in others, not always so easy to see in yourself because when you are formulating yours, they feel so real to you! But the fundamental truth behind all the excuses is that you don’t want to make changes. And, in order to get out of dealing, you form and believe excuses and gather evidence from that point of view. For example, you will “find” your metabolism lacking and focus on that vs. the times you’ve managed your weight easily, you will focus on your busy schedule rather than your power to plan your day or you will focus on the hysteria about the job market rather than your ability to send resumes and line up interviews.
Our excuses protect us from having to find the courage and motivation of “just doing it.” Face it: What’s so hard about getting up early enough to exercise or finding time to send one or even three resumes? In short, we hide behind our excuses. (By the way what ever you yelled or whined back in your head in response to the question “What’s so hard?” take note of that, that’s what you’re up against.)
Calling the reasoning “excuses” forces you to see that of course you can step up to the plate, take responsibility and make changes.
What can you do to overcome?
The first step may be one of the hardest — seeing what your excuses are.
- Make a list of the places where you feel stuck in your life, and then look at why. Write this out, if you write out your reasoning – the whys – you will be able to see how much consists of silly theories and excuses.
- Try arguing the opposite of each thing you wrote and see if you can poke holes in your limiting theories.
- Then you can speak with several people you trust and who know you well and ask them for the truth. How do they think you could approach the area differently? Just asking will represent a shift and will force you to start dealing with the area and getting help, rather than considering yourself stuck.
- Once identified, getting rid of the excuses most likely will involve action, a “to do” list of behaviors. If you were using the Handel Method® you’d promise a certain amount of exercise or to get up at a certain time or send a certain number of resumes. Better tell someone or else the excuses will sneak right back in.
At least for today: See if you can catch and laugh at excuses. Some of them are so silly. All of them will teach you where you need to make changes. Every time you do you will be improving the quality of your life while re-affirming your power to author your life according to your own ideals. At the Handel Group™ we call this Personal Integrity® and it leads to unshakable happiness and success.
If you want more information on our three-step process (excuse-busting is #2), check out our upcoming 1-hour teleseminar, Promise of You on June 28th, 8-9pm. If you click on this link and enter the promo code: ‘Promise’ you’ll get it for 50% off. We hope to meet you and help you get excuses out of the way so you can have your dreams.