The 13 Grossest Processed Foods People Actually Pay Money to Eat

Processed foods are gross on so many levels—the added sugars, artificial colors and flavors, stabilizers, GMOs—but some manufacturers take it to a whole other level with some really unnecessary gimmicks to get you to buy their products. Newness sells even when it’s downright gnarly.

Here’s a roundup of some of the grossest processed foods we’ve seen in a while:

Watermelon Oreos
Image via Brand Eating

1. Watermelon Oreos:

What’s summer without watermelon? How about subbing that juicy, yummy, sweet fruit with a cloying mouthful of Watermelon Oreos instead? No seeds!

Pepsi Cheetos
Image via Crucial Brutal

2. Pepsi Cheetos:

When you’re in Japan next, get all the comforts of home in one bag with the latest invention from PepsiCo and Frito Lay: Pepsi-flavored Cheetos. We’re really looking forward to Cheetos flavored Pepsi next.

Ramen Burger
Image via YumSugar

3. Ramen Burger:

Hungry enough to eat a ramen burger? The newest craze in New York City uses fried ramen noodle ‘buns’ to sandwich a burger. But one thing we can’t figure out: where do you put the flavor packet?

Cronut Burger
Image via the Atlantic

4. Cronut Burger:

If the ramen burger sounds a little too gross, you could always try the cronut burger instead. This uses the other NYC trend du jour, the cronut (croissant-donut hybrid) to create a bun for your meat. Hold the jelly filling. Or not.

Pretzel Burger
Image via Brand Eating

5. The Pretzel Burger:

But wait! We almost forgot bizarro burger option #3. How did no one think of this before 2013? Wendy’s management is surely laughing themselves into a twist all the way to the bank over their latest creation: the Pretzel Bacon Cheeseburger. Because what goes better than a square burger topped with gloppy cheese, bumpy bacon and served in a semi-twisted soft pretzel?

Deep Fried Coca Cola
Image via One of the Things I

6. Deep fried Coca-Cola:

With soda sales slumping, maybe Coca-Cola is on to something—make soda chewy instead. Now, it’s a meal!

Waffle Taco
Image via Taco Bell

7. The Waffle Taco:

Oh Taco Bell, you so cray-cray. A waffle that’s also a taco? Like syrup for the soul…

Bacon Milkshake
Image via Gizmodo

8. Bacon Milkshake:

Thanks, Jack in the Box, for finally (hopefully) putting an end to the bacon craze by blending it up into a vanilla milkshake. Even the Kosher can’t keep away…

Hot Dog Stuffed Pizza
Image via CBS

9. The Hot Dog Stuffed Pizza:

Pizza Hut will keep coming up with disgusting pizza ideas until we insist they stop. Don’t believe me? Head on over to the UK or up to Canada for their latest invention, the hot dog stuffed pizza, and let me know how that trip turns out for you. I’m particularly interested in the ‘mustard drizzle.

Kit Kat Pops
Image via Laughing Squid

10. The Kit-Kat Pops:

If that hot dog stuffed pizza put a smile on your face, well then, by all means book a flight to the nearest Pizza Hut Middle East location where you can finish your meal with doughy Twinkie looking pillows stuffed with Kit Kat bars.

Wasabi Cheese Donut
Image via Comedy Central

11. The Wasabi Cheese Donut:

It’s everything you love Dunkin’ Donuts for: spicy wasabi, processed cheese and, oh yeah, donuts, all rolled into one. You won’t find this at your local Dunkin’ location though; you’ll have to fly to Singapore to try one. And you’ll probably want to wait a few hours (near a bathroom) before boarding the flight home…

Strawberry Pop-Tart Ice Cream Sandwich
Image via Brand Eating

12. The Strawberry Pop-Tart Ice Cream Sandwich:

Why make an ice cream sandwich with boring old cookies when you can use a Pop-Tart instead? The folks at Carl’s Jr. apparently were wondering the same thing when they “invented” the vanilla sammy. And good news for you calorie counters, the 320 calories and 51 grams of carbs come from just one whole Pop-Tart cut in half for the sandwich, not two. (Phew!)

Edible Fanta Ad
Image via Coca-Cola

13. The Edible Fanta Ad:

Maybe actual food’s not quite your thing anymore, even with all these yummy processed food options. The folks at Fanta have you covered with a recent ad campaign where you can actually eat the soda-flavored paper. No straw, no bubbles, no mess!

This article originally appeared on Organic Authority

Keep in touch with Jill on Twitter @jillettinger

  • Tavo Fuentes

    the grossest one is the Fanta ad

  • John

    #6 comment ~ coke is a meal now…made me laugh so hard I almost peed my pants. Now really, this “food” should be considered illegal. Gross.

  • breadfriend

    im sorry, but the vast majority of these things sound and look delicious

  • Katie Conrad

    Mostly disgusting, but the cronut burger and the pretzel burger look delish. Let’s just be honest.

  • I didn’t find the watermelon Oreos all that bad, actually. Wouldn’t buy them again, but they didn’t gross me out or anything.

  • anis

    im with you

  • Lillian D Pinkerson Aronin

    It is not about it tasting gross it is about the grossness of turning that food into the building blocks of your organs. Do you want to repair your cells with deep fried coke?

  • Emily

    I just threw up in my mouth a little

  • Betty Ann Bennett

    The Ramen Burger does NOT follow in this category as it is neither a processed food nor does it come with a “flavor packet”. Let’s get the facts right.

  • somethingwitty

    Who cares what these things taste like (though a majority of these items would induce vomiting from the amount of disgust I would be in)… As a bonus to the absurd flavors, they will also kill you slowly by being jam packed with ridiculous amounts of preservatives and chemicals that should kill you instantly from making such an absurd food choice… All around yuck. I’m so happy none of these items are regularly available in the area I live in.

  • exerciseisthebestmedicine

    How come you don’t include hot dogs? They are full of processed left over meats. I’ve tried Ramen Burger and it’s neither process nor gross. Have you even tried it? They make it fresh right in front of you, so how can it be processed? Cronut is also delicious and made fresh everyday… Everything else you mentioned is pretty much corporate America products, so maybe this should be centered toward corporations which are making Americans fat.

  • gigi

    this reads like an article in cosmo rather than something written from a doctor…

  • Jeffrey Shimamoto

    The Original Ramen Burger by Keizo Shimamoto in not processed.

    The noodles are fresh (just egg, flour and water), the burger meat is 100% Angus beef with a 25/75 fat to meat ratio and the sauce is all vegetables and spices. Granted, the finished products in the sauce probably have preservatives, but unless you consider soy sauce, vinegar and ketchup, gross, well the sauce is most likely considerably healthier than 95% of the products sold at an organic grocery store. Throw in some arugula and green onions and I would say that the Ramen Burger, for $8, is one the most healthful and balanced meals in America. There are NO FLAVOR PACKETS in the Ramen Burger.

    What irks me most about this is that Ramen Burger is a 2 person company trying to bring fresh food to the people of NY, while also educating Americans that ramen is not Top Ramen from a bag or Cup Noodle from a cup. Comparing this small company of two hard working noodle chefs to the fast food giants in the article is offensive.

    Add to that, the photo is not even the real Ramen Burger, it’s a knock-off. I urge you to remove Ramen Burger from this list!

  • the replyer

    I’m sorry, but the vast majority of these foods kill kittens.

  • the replyer

    SOME DO!

  • Tatiana Druckrey

    I am sorry if those sound delicious, may I ask how much do you weigh?

  • Jamie

    What does their weight have anything to do with acquired tastes? How much do you weigh? Everything you put down your gullet is healthy? I think NOT. Now shh and move on

  • Captain Cruelty

    I do also think it most of it looks and sounds delicious and Im underweight …xD

  • William Congreve

    Heart surgeons must be silent partners with Fast Food companies.

  • Anonymous

    I had to look up the definition for GMO, it’s genetically modified object, that means the Libtards, who are control-freaks extraordinaire, are concerned with foods that they believe will do what? Cause you to grow a second head? I plan on having a discussion with mine later on, but I digress. Recall how the Libtards are all up in arms about MSG and their blogs were filling up daily with manufacturers, restaurants, and fast food chains which they hypothesized were involved in a conspiracy to place MSGs in ALL of your foods, and then you became addicted to that brand or that eatery. I mean the Libtards were going ballistic, threatening to boycott establishments and DEMANDING that politicians do SOMETHING! The problem of course is that MSGs occur naturally in foods, but that doesn’t stop them from insisting that it causes learning disabilities and ruins your eyesight, and they know this because IT HAPPENS TO THEM AND ALL THEIR FRIENDS! And guess what? All their friends are control-freak Libtards too!

  • rj

    If you think ketchup sauce is “healthier” than 95% of what you can get in an organic store…the processed food you eat has rotted your brain.

  • rj

    I’m not at all liberal and msg is addictive and horrible. You must work for food processing companies.

  • Jessie Polley


  • >This article originally appeared on Organic Authority

    There it is!

  • Jacob Martin

    They don’t like GMOs, because the genetic modification is to make it more resistant to horrible pesticides that kill bees and cause untold damage to the environment. Actually do your research next time.